When we talk about a “coercive” or even a “cult-like” environment, we can mean any relationship, group, family dynamic, online or live community, workshop, seminar, therapy, training, church, meditation group, business, family, or other situation that uses a pattern of coercive techniques.

In general, here are some indications that coercive control may be happening to you or your family member:

• You might notice that some coercive methods are being used (see coercive control and influence)

• Feeling confused, and increasingly unable to make minor decisions

• Feeling that one’s identity and/or beliefs are being lost

• Losing a sense of humor, spontaneity, or warmth

• Feeling elated, in awe, or overwhelmed with love with the individual or group. Other people or activities may feel either suddenly or gradually less important than the person or group

• Feeling physically or psychologically “high” without having ingested any substances. Explaining the “high” feeling as being “plugged into” something, or “spiritually high” or having achieved a new state of awareness, or being deeply in love

• People “outside” the person/community/group increasingly become considered as less than those “inside” (less informed, less joyful, less “awake”, more afraid, evil, not chosen, less interesting, less important, or having a “lower vibe”, or some other reason)

• Feeling as if other people on the “outside” do not or could not understand the “specialness” or “truth” of the person/community/group

• Getting extremely angry and defensive when the person/community/group is questioned

• Spending an increasing majority of time and energy with the person/community/group and neglecting other aspects of life

• Feeling exhausted, even after sleeping, due to ongoing control techniques

• Changes in weight

• Others find it uncomfortable when discussing the person or group with you/your family member

• Thinking about or have already detached from friends or family

• Spending an unusual amount of money on the person or group

• If interactions with the person/community/group are largely online, finding that more and more of your time is spent online interacting with the person or group

• Feelings as if you now have some “special” knowledge that others don’t have

• Feeling like one weekend/date/situation has changed your entire life forever because it has some special, “magical”, or divine “secret” or technology

• Feeling compelled either to recruit other people or to detach from others because you now have this “unique” knowledge

• Feeling or thinking that you are better (more powerful, more informed, more special, more chosen, or more awake) than other people (new grandiosity)

• Some people might be uncomfortable with your gaze (it may seem cold, odd, or discomforting)

• At some point, you may feel like something is “wrong” but you can’t put your finger on it

• Feeling less connected to the larger world (friends, family, other people) as you become more connected to the person/community/group

There are other ways that we might determine that coercive control is happening. Feel free to contact me for more information.